Lifting Things...

I work as a exhibit builder (a preparitor as we are known in the trade) at a museum. Sorry, won't say which one or where. Anyway today, after a week of hard work by a focused team, I helped this team do something strange, bizarre and somewhat dangerous... We hoisted a chunk of Styrofoam into the air. Big deal, right? Styrofoam...we make beer coolers out of the stuff, pick it up with yer little finger...

Well it just happens that this bit 'o Styrofoam is 48 feet long, 12 foot high and a foot thick, weighs around 400 pounds, is suspended by six 3/16" steel cables, 24 screws and is held together with contact cement, a few bits of wood and cardboard and oh yes...paint...! And hoisted it so the beast's bottom is 9 foot off the floor. Did I forget to mention the whole object d' art is over the entrance to a major new exhibit where the public will be walking under it? Well there ya go! This is what you get when your design and development staff, who have nadda clue when it comes to mechanical design or common sense for that matter, are allowed to run willy nilly and do what they please. The designers never asked for input, feedback or advice, just build it...and 'they' will come. Hopefully 'they' will be able pass safely under it as well.

Sigh...I hate stupid people. Arrogance, of the type exuded by a typical flowery silk-scarfed wrapped art school grad cum designer only adds to my hate... Designers who dream the wild and exotic should first ask the builders, who live in the real world of glue, nails and material specifications, if their ideas can be developed into something safe, practical and realistic. Dream wild and be daring yes! But seek confirmation before dumping your egotistical Styrofoam-based wet dreams in our laps.

My young boss seemed nervous but he listened to my buddy and I who both have construction and rigging experience and we were able to 'guide' him and keep the design somewhat sound through last minute modifications and suggestions. Most importantly my friends on the crew all left the place in a vertical state and in one piece. That is the most important thing to me.

The rest, like cable strain limits, screw failure modes, proper glue drying times, are all just ittybitty details...